"If She Were Still Alive"

I often dream of my Grandma Geri - what she looked like, how she acted. I wonder what her personality would be like if she were still alive today. I wonder if she would be proud of me and the person I am today. You see, I was only about a year old when she died of cancer at the age of 46. I do miss her terribly. The only memories I have of her are pictures and videos that my parents recorded when I was young. My mom has a ring that belonged to her. She says that Grandma Geri wore it all the time when she was alive. She was even wearing it when she died. My mom says that I can have it when I am older.
I know that she was a Christian, and I am very happy to know that. My mom, dad, and I are good Christians, too. She had a sad life, though. She was still an unmarried teenager when she had my mom at age 15. Because she was young and pregnant, people didn't treat her very well at church and so she stopped loving the Lord. But when my mom was older she wrote a letter to Grandma Geri that told her how worried she was about whether she would go to heaven or not. So my Grandma renewed her relationship with God and once again became a Christian.
I am now 12 years old, and about a year ago I did a walk-a-thon in which the money that I paid to walk went to children, men and women that have leukemia. There I heard a man named Mr. Townsend sing a song that he dedicated to his daughter, who had died of leukemia at a young age. When I heard this, I was touched, for I, too, have suffered the loss of a loved one to cancer. I miss her dearly.
I know that my Grandma struggled a lot when she had cancer. The medicine she took made her hair stop growing. Therefore, she was forced to wear a wig. She coughed and sneezed a lot because the cancer had also spread to her lungs. By the time the doctors had found her cancer, it had already spread throughout her body. I imagine that it was like playing tug-o-war for her. She was on the side that had all of the hard and rough rope all by herself, other than the medicine that did not help much, and the cancer was on the side with the smooth and easy to pull rope along with all the other germs in her body.
I know that she loved me because she left me a large amount of cash, which we used to help us buy our home in Modesto. She was always thinking more of others than herself. Before, we had lived in the noisy and rowdy town of San Jose, California. I know that she and I would be very close friends if she were still alive. My mom tells me of when she was little and how my Grandma Geri was strict but loving and gave her many things when she hinted for them, but she was not spoiled by Grandma Geri.
I can just see it now if she were still alive. Every summer my mom and I would go up to Washington and visit her. While we were up there we would go on picnics and go skating in the park. She would not spoil me, but rather, get me a scoop of ice cream. Then we would sit down and tell each other about what has been happening lately in our lives.
I wonder what it was like for her to go through all those rough times. I wonder many things, but I know things, too. I know that I will see her again some day, and then I can ask her my questions and we can go skating down the golden streets of heaven and sit down and talk. For in heaven there will be no more pain and no heartache. I look forward to that day.